Previous Matches
Yet More Quote Porn
Infinite Jest
"Morning is the soul's night."
"That it is possible to abuse OTC cold-and allergy remedies in an addictive manner.
That Nyquil is over 50 proof.
That boring activities becomes, perversely, much less boring if you concentrate on them.
That if enough people in a silent room are drinking coffee it is possible to make out the sound of steam coming off the coffee.
That sometimes human beings have to sit in one place and, like, hurt.
That you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.
That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness.
That it is possible to fall asleep during an anxiety attack.
That concentrating intently on anything is very hard work."
"Almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny has no beeper; destiny always leans trenchcoated out of an alley with some sort of 'psst' that you usually can't even hear because you're in such a rush to or from something important you've tried to engineer."
"That it is possible to abuse OTC cold-and allergy remedies in an addictive manner.
That Nyquil is over 50 proof.
That boring activities becomes, perversely, much less boring if you concentrate on them.
That if enough people in a silent room are drinking coffee it is possible to make out the sound of steam coming off the coffee.
That sometimes human beings have to sit in one place and, like, hurt.
That you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.
That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness.
That it is possible to fall asleep during an anxiety attack.
That concentrating intently on anything is very hard work."
"Almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny has no beeper; destiny always leans trenchcoated out of an alley with some sort of 'psst' that you usually can't even hear because you're in such a rush to or from something important you've tried to engineer."
The Restaurant At The End of The Universe
"The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem."
"One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.
The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.
Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later editions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of academic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be."
"One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.
The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.
Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later editions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of academic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be."
Head-to-Head
Characters: The gang in Restaurant were either based on or created many comedy sci-fi tropes, depending on who you ask. Arthur Dent is potentially the greatest only sane man that literature's ever seen, with his rigorous British sensibilities then serving to make him seem a little off-base himself in a way that's hard to place. Marvin's utter depression is a bit that can't be topped, and Zaphod is every political leader's repressed personality wrapped into one insane package.
Still, Infinite Jest is a towering juggernaut of a book that spends literally hundreds of its early pages giving backstory, context and life to characters who are unimportant in their plot roles, but are important for their existence in time and space outside of the strict literature that Wallace writes. Kate Gompert is one of the most powerful extras you'll ever see, and her depression is a genuine answer to Marvin. Don Gately has his own rigorous sensibility in a seeming clown college, but rather than give levity, it helps to frame the real problems faced by the unfortunate residents of the halfway house. Where Restaurant is hilarious with its tropes, Infinite Jest causes real and painful reflection with its tropes.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Setting: Space is the place, yeah. Adams combines his merry cast of misfits with a universe of literally infinite possibilities to give him all the breathing room he ever needs to set up a good joke. While Enfield, O.N.A.N., and Ennet House are meticulously constructed settings for Wallace's text, they're not as essential to what makes the book actually work as Adams' setting. Both are doubtlessly well-written, but Adams' surroundings are more instrumental to his madness.
Advantage: The Restaurant At The End of The Universe.
Plot: It's hardly a contest here. Restaurant's plot is just a way of moving the characters from one spotlight, laugh-track moment to the next. It's effective, but nothing to write home about. Infinite Jest, meanwhile, isn't as much about the happenings of a month plus tax in the Year of The Depend Adult Ultragarment as much as it is about being entwined in the lives of so many people trying to understand a mile in so many various shoes. It's a bunch of stories in one plot, and it's great.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Ending: Neither book's last page is entirely spectacular. What Adams does is wind his book down in a way where, with the literal end of time and space behind them, his characters return to a more primitive state in an environment filled with the juiciest of material for satire. The later pages are the stronger pages for sure.
Infinite Jest, meanwhile—we've been through this. Postmodern book where time is anything but linear, ends on a nonpoint, further/closer reading of earlier passages gives true ending while illustrating one of the main themes of the book just finished. Masterful.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Language/Writing: Although Douglas Adams has long been revered for his recipe of British silliness and sharp wit, he's out of league on this one. Wallace's prose is what it's all about, and quote porn sections in this and previous entries are all the proof required.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Philosophy: One book was written to make the reader laugh, while the other was to make the reader think. The central existential question of Infinite Jest could fuel the infinite improbability drive in the Heart of Gold with its brain boilings. The difference is in the intent, and it's a wide margin of victory in this case.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Infinite Jest, meanwhile—we've been through this. Postmodern book where time is anything but linear, ends on a nonpoint, further/closer reading of earlier passages gives true ending while illustrating one of the main themes of the book just finished. Masterful.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Language/Writing: Although Douglas Adams has long been revered for his recipe of British silliness and sharp wit, he's out of league on this one. Wallace's prose is what it's all about, and quote porn sections in this and previous entries are all the proof required.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Philosophy: One book was written to make the reader laugh, while the other was to make the reader think. The central existential question of Infinite Jest could fuel the infinite improbability drive in the Heart of Gold with its brain boilings. The difference is in the intent, and it's a wide margin of victory in this case.
Advantage: Infinite Jest.
Winner Winner Turkey Supper
One of the things I've learned from doing this blog is that, if it ever appears again in any format, book series will be considered one entry. The entirety of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy is a top favorite of mine, but one fifth of it can't even really hold court with a book that would still likely trump the whole thing.
Infinite Jest moves on to the final.
